Memo to manufacturers: What? Your new synth doesn't have aftertouch? Guess what?! I"M NOT BUYING IT!! The need for hands free synthesizer controls and how it all roads lead to KISS

That's right!

Korg! Your Minilogue Mini-sucks! Studio Logic, take your sledge and ride it back to queer street (I am not homophobic, if you are gay substitute "Straight Street") Roland, the only way I would pick up a system 8 would be to hit you over the head with it (And even then the light plastic would shatter and you'd barely notice)

Where oh where have the features that make a synth PLAYABLE gone? I want the wind controller! (Anal wind controller?) I want assignable features to velocity and the mod wheel (Multiple for the wheel) I want assignable CV pedal control inputs (2 of them! BOOYAH!) and most of all I WANT POLYPHONIC AFTERTOUCH AS STANDARD

This is why I LOVE me some ENSONIQ SQ80. It's all about the modulation I can do, without my hands having to leave the keyboard. Because guess what? I'M PLAYING! The SQ80 is the most playable synth ever (while others program. with the SQ80 I PLAY. I started out as a guitar player so I'm used to having the power to FEEL my instrument in the palm of my hands, not having to interrupt my creative flow to "program" stuff in.

With HIGHLY programmable aftertouch, CV pedal, HIGHLY detailed velocity programming, Pitch wheel and HIGHLY programmable Mod wheel, Playing synth never really hit home with me till I got one of these,

It's funny, everyone thinking 1:1 controls are so important, as a musician who wants to become one with his instrument and let his emotions call the shots, not his brain, I can tell you these Ensoniq's and, wait for it...........The hated and feared DX7 are THE synths for the playing musician,

You have so much hands free control on the DX7 it's not even funny, and don't think I'm some Jazz/Prog weirdo either, My roots are Punk/Glam/New wave I first picked up a synth because of Billy Idol (Wanna learn to play synth like a man? Rebel Yell record will show you, even though it's played by a woman, she plays with more balls than any 80's wuss that came after her), Cyndi Lauper (She-bop = best rock n' roll synth ever Co-written by Cyndi Lauper and the guy who went on to play keyboards with KISS) Primal Scream, Jesus and Mary-chain (Yes they used synths), Not Phil Collins, Hebie Hancock and Mister Mister (Although oddly enough their guitar player would end up playing one of the guitar solos on KISS's overrated, plodding heavey-metal snooze-fest of a record Creatures of the Night) and Duran Duran (Even lesser known fact: on KISS's underrated 1980 Power-Pop masterpiece UNMASKED, Producer Vini Poncia, asked the, just barely been signed and totally unknown Nick Rhodes play his Jupiter 8 on the forgotten classic TOMORROW and several other tracks, if you think you know what KISS sounds like and have heard their best but aren't familiar with this song I encourage you to head over to Youtube and prepare to be blown away this is one of the top three KISS songs EVER recorded, if you hate KISS I dare you to listen to that song and say it)

So there you go Synth manufacturers, it's really quite simple, those of us who can PLAY and aren't brain-dead, loop-layering no-talent EDM Mongoloids (Hey I like electronic dance music, I just don't like EDM...I like Mongoloids too so can the self-righteousness) would like some instruments that give us the ability to ROCK, we don't need our hands held as we push the "Talent" button.

In short, we who are UNMASKED are tired of instruments coming to the market that were obviously made to play on Creatures of the Night,

Yes.....There is a KISS analogy for everything....until next time, take yer fuggin trainin' wheelz and shove em' uo yer preset banks!

Good bye from Queer (Straight) Street everybody!

P.S On which street doth a man livist who yearns no more for gooey stains on his side of the bed and would sleep the night in peace?

Terrible Dee

Ensoniq ESQ-1 quick start guide (SQ80)

The Ensoniq ESQ-1, ( or an SQ80)

A discerning synth geeks choice de' jour, this behemoth of 80's snazz might remind you of the digital watch you received in the box of captain crunch you lifted from your local Woolworth's food donations pile right next to a sky-high stack of Reagan-era government cheese.

If Max Headroom had played a synth (didn't he) this would have been it.

But in true 80's fashion the "JOYGEL" so to speak, is flammable, sealed tighter than Indiana's lost Ark this synth was shipped with an obtuse interface designed specifically to keep the idiot (Re' disadvantaged) out, thus ensuring their board would be used only those contributing to the tax base and the next gen nuclear warhead that we all owned a piece of back then.. (In those days you hoped for nuclear war just to see that all the money you spent went SOMEWHERE

But here we are 30n years later, and you STILL aren't paying your goddamn taxes, so I suppose I will let you in on some of the secrets we worked so hard to keep from you back then.

Follow my instructions TO THE LETTER your job is to LEARN THE RULES BEFORE YOU BREAK THEM don't think of this as learning to program a synth. Think of this as your final 80's exam, pass and you may be able to get yourself laid at an 80's night near you, fail, and it's back to the government cheese, perhaps also acquired while getting laid at an 80's night near you.

Strap in the strap on tough guy, here we go:.

This is intended to get the new user of an ESQ-1 up and running with the synth and familiar with it's interface and basic functions, more detailed and specific instructions can be found elsewhere. This is written in point form for easy of use.

1. Switch your ESQ-1 on. You will briefly see a start-up screen followed by 2 lines of text. Begining respectively with: INT 1 PIANO and SLOSTR. These are the names of patches (sounds) preprogrammed into the synth to call one up, press the rectangular grey button closest to it, either above or below the screen.

2. For our purposes press the grey button above piano 1.Try they keyboard, it will now sound something like a piano.

3. Now look to the far right of synth. Below the Ensoniq logo, locate the following buttons: OSC1, OSC2, OSC3, DCA1, DCA2, DCA3, FILTER, DCA4, LFO1, LFO2, LFO3, ENV1, ENV2, ENV3, ENV4 these buttons correspond to the basic control parameters of a subtractive synth.

4. -OSC (Oscillator) is part of the synth that generates the initial sound.

   - DCA (Digitally controlled amplifier) amplifies whatever audio signal routed through it.

   - FILTER filters specific frequencies of the audio stream passing the signal along without them.

   - LFO (Low-Frequency oscillator) this is a sound wave generator that produces sound waves below audible level, thus they can be used to adjust other synth parameters without being heard themselves. For instance a soundwave that serves up and down in a smooth manner (A sine wave) can be routed to vibrato, thus the vibrator moves in synch with the shape of the wave. Think of a boat moving as waves roll it in the ocean.

    -ENV (Envelope) just like an LFO an envelope has an inherent shape, perhaps a better term would be map. A map plots a course for you with a beginning middle and end. An envelope tells whatever parameter it routed to how to move in the beginning middle and end of it's duration. For instance: If oscillator 1 pitch is routed to Envelope one, you will need to program the envelopes attack (Begining) sustain (How long it' stays at it's destination. Release (how long it takes to exit it's primary destination) ad release (It;s final exit until it's effects are undetectable)

5.  Hit the DCA 1 button, over to the middle left of the board you will see two sliders. Toggle the one marked Data entry. You will see the display show DCA 1 = a number. Pull down the slider until it reads zero. Repeat this process for DCA 2,3 and 4. Remember these are AMPLIFIERS you have just turned them all off therefore you will hear.....NOTHING! Good! Look where the DCA buttons are. See how they are depicted? This is called a Schematic of the synths SIGNAL FLOW. By studying it you will see that the OSC (which create the sound) flow into the DCA's 1-3 next. You will also see that DCA 4 is placed prior to the final output, this tells you DCA's 1, 2 or three AND four must be on in order to hear any sound

6. Press DCA 1 and adjust the value to 60, do the same with DCA 4, the sound it back

7. Now look before the DCA'a. The sound generating OSC come before the amps, here we can choose the TYPE of either sound wave or sample we wish to start with. Press OSC1, each grey button corresponds to the parameter closest to it on the display.

8. Hit the button just above "Wave: you will see the parameter is "Piano" move the slidder all the way down. It will now read SAW. I find a saw-shaped sound wave to be the most naturally "Synthy" sounding so we will start there.

7. Now hit the FILTER button and then press the button closest to FREQ, adjust the value slider til it reads about 40, next press the button for resonance and move that to 30. You should now have something approaching a 303 type sound. but there is something missing......

8.  Go back to theFILTER screen at the bottom you will see MODS =, this is asking you what if anything you would like to modulate your FILTER , press the button closest and move the value slider till it says ENV3

 9. Now go to ENV 3 and tweak parameters in any fashion moving left to right. You will notice at the far left you are affecting the beginning or ATTACK of the FILKTER's behavior as you move right you are affecting the middle or SUSTAIN of the filters behavior until at the right you are affecting (Modulating) it's end or RELEASE. What do I mean by behavior? How fast does the filter start working? How long does it work for before its effect begin to fade? How long before they are unnoticeable? ATTACK SUSTAIN DECAY RELEASE correspond to these questions.

10. Go back to your FILTER page and instead of ENV3 in the MOD = section move the data slider until you see LFO 2. you will notice the sound is now changing on it's own according to the shape of the Low-Frequency sound wave you are MODULATING it with. Try different waves. Do you see how a square wave changes the filter behavior in the shape of a square figuratively speaking? How about a Saw? A triangle?

You can apply these techniques to anything in the ESQ1 modulate the filter with the oscillator the Oscillator with the LFO shape the Amp with an envelope. The world of synthesis is at your command when you put these simple principals to practice. Not just on this synth either, you now know how to program most synths, just locate the building blocks and what modulates them and the possibilities are mind numbing .

I have given you the means to pull the sword from the stone, use them wisely and go slay the dragon, leave the restroom "Sword fights" to those less educated.

And remember.....the number of synths a man has in his command is directly proportional to the size of his penis.

Poke away my friends, just don't put anyone's eye out.

I will tackle the sequencer in another post

How to use the sequencer on the Ensoniq ESQ-1 SQ80 (part 1)

Greetings humanoids!

Mash up a plate of peas and get that headgear strapped on tight, today we are going to try and teach you to operate one of the simpler pieces of gear in existence....

So let's take those 50/50 odds and jump right into the shallow end!

Well, I'll jump.... you dive

lets DO it!

1. Turn you Ensoniq on, press the SEQ button
2. Press the gray button directly ABOVE the words SEQ1 on the display
3. When the next page appears, again hit the button over SEQ1 you will see a line from underneath it
4. Hit the SELECT button
5. On the page moving the data slider will select your BPM, DO IT
6. Hit the control button, tape the button above METRONOME and use the data slider to select your time signature. Hit the button below CLICK = and move the data slider to turn the click on. Hit the button underneath COUNTOFF and select CLICK with the data slider.
7. press the SELECT button again, you will see the names of 8 patches (Sounds) look at the one in the upper left (To the right of "tracks") Press the button above it till the line appears below it.
8. Press the INTERNAL button and hold it, you will see a number of patches you pick. While still holding the internal button. Press one and then play the keyboard until you find one you like (To find more sounds: Press the internal button and then press any of the four buttons to it's right, they will show a full bank of sounds each, furthermore you can press CART A and CART B respectively, and then probe the 4 banks of sounds each is associated with. When you find your sound....
9. Press the LOCATE button. Now press the LOCATE button. Now hold the RECORD BUTTON and press PLAY after a 4 beat count off begin playing your selected sound.

Congrats you can now pick sounds and record them onto the ENSONIQ sequencer!


What I have tried to do here is give you the most straight forward tutorial possible. I do not expand the scope of my coverage to school you in every concept this topic may brush up against. I do not tell you WHY things are done I am showing you HOW things are done. The theory being: If you DO the thing you will then UNDERSTAND the thing, experience leads to understanding, not the other way around. If I get you DOING you will teach yourself the rest.

Until next time...