System 8 hate: Roland designers of the 808 drum machines,and Jupiter synths have decided to crap in a plastic shell and sell it to you

Go buy a JX8P

Eww it feels yucky typing that. but If you my dear friend INSIST on buying a crappy Roland Synth I would have to recommend the unit thAT BROUGHT US "THE FINAL COUNTDOWN" AND "HERE I GO AGAIN"

YA YA, I'll admit it, those are cool songs and one would thinkl that any synth used to propel those mainstage floats in the 80's coke parade, is good enough to do lines off in 2017, but let me tell you something....

Whatever person place or thing your mind conjures up when you here the word "Gutless" will be released from your grey matter the moment you try this great musical castration device of years gone by, one might be excused for checking thier pubes after touching one just to make sure puberty and their manhood had not been recorded by great cosmic forces in charge of all things testicular. Yes friends this synth is indeed a cold day in the locker room after Phys-Ed class in the pool, and I am still recommending you get one....

Why...???


Because If you have a taste for things un-manly with the word Roland printed on them, then there is a chance you may be considering the purchase of a system 8 and this I can not allow. Because if you buy them Roland will keep making them and if Roland keeps making them, I may one day be forced to trade in my twin venom sacks for.......an M-Audio Venom? (Ok that's another blog all together so don't get me started.

Maybe you are a Roland Apologist who will fight to the, death for your right to overpay for things that break way too easily, if so I am looking forward to hearing how the system 8 synthesizer from Roland is in any way a step in the right direction. Perhaps armed with the latest specs and feature lists you can't wait to debate it's merits and quash it's purported drawbacks, perhaps you are so used to soft-synths that one that both sound and feel like a plugin is more to your tastes? it doesn't matter anyway, I played tit in the store, this thing is a straight up JOKE, it's made from spare parts left over from the JDXI, (massive flop) that they want to get rid of, it is plastic and fragile as hell, a loud fart would probably split it in two, it's absolutely drenched with FX and every gimmick they could cram in to distract from the shite sounding oscillators. This is a synth from 10-15 years ago, like a micro Korg or a Micron, it's outdated VA garbage, whose only purpose is to get rid of all the JDXA parts they already spent money on.. It reminds me of the Ultra Nova, plug in in a box with wall to wall gimmicks to make the kids go....woah!!! Unfortunatly, the kids now know what analog sounds like so they are no longer impressed. Seriously this thing is about as cutting edge as a hair metal band in 1993,


And that hair metal band was probably playing a JX8P, so even THEY didn't want the system 8 You have been warned